A Simple Walk
by Reflective599
Summary: On his way to visit Terra's memorial, Beast Boy reflects on his time with her and the events leading to her imprisonment. A kind of retrospective/retelling of the "Terra Saga" in Season 2.


A Simple Walk

As he made his way slowly towards his destination, one thing was apparent.

Beast Boy was in pain.

No, not physical pain as one might expect. After all, not only was he a teenaged superhero and founding member of the Teen Titans, but he was also… Friends? Yeah, let's go with that; with Raven, the half-demon sorceress of the team who seemed to punctuate every word she said to him with some form of attack. Suffice it to say, he was pretty well acquainted with the concept of physical pain by now.

No, the type of pain he felt now wasn't physical. If anything, it was emotional. Why, you may ask? Simple, Beast Boy's pain was all centered around one person. A single name.

Terra.

You see, a little over three weeks prior, this girl, who the whole team had thought all but irredeemable, had saved all of their lives, sacrificing her own to save both them and the city from a massive underground eruption. She had died a Heroes death, and would go on to a Heroes Reward. At least, that was what he had thought.

But no, after all she'd done to redeem herself, all that she'd suffered throughout her life what had been her reward? For her role in both protecting those she held dear and ridding the world of a madman, what did Fate have in store for her after all she been through?

Damnation

That's right, there, in the underground cave in which she'd made her sacrifice, had she remained, trapped in her own personal Hell, stuck somewhere between life and death within an immobile stone prison, forcefully shaped into the form of her own body. There she had remained, held prisoner by the very powers she had been cursed and shunned for her entire life, unable to escape them their pull on her even in death.

The irony of her Fate was enough to make him sick.

Not only that, it _enraged_ him. After they had return to the Tower, he had locked himself away in his room and spent the rest of the night tearing anything that wasn't bolted down to shreds. He had screamed and cursed until his throat had gone raw, anger over ruling any rational thought.

It just wasn't fair! This was _Terra_! _His Terra_! His Teammate. His Friend. The cute, funny, kind hearted girl he'd lived and fought with! The girl…He had loved.

That's right, even if he'd never been able to say it, he had loved her. Now he'd never get the chance.

Sure, Cyborg and the others had tried to tell him that they would find a cure, some way to free her, but he knew the truth. The Titans had access to some of the greatest medical and scientific minds and equipment the world over, and as of yet no progress had been made. The odds of their finding a way to free him were as likely as him finding a way to revive his parents. It just wasn't going to happen.

It just didn't seem right! She'd confessed so much of her past to him, spilled her heart out as she had done for no other person. They'd spent hours at a time together; crying and laughing in equal measure as their friendship had grown and deepened. Was it really any wonder that over time he had felt his initial attraction blossom into something greater?

And he'd thrown it all away.

The green-skinned teen hadn't started the night with that intention. As a matter of fact, barring her initial rejection, it had been one of the happiest nights of his life, as, after mustering his courage, he had managed to coax a date out of the adventurous blonde girl.

At first, the date itself had been amazing. They'd travelled outside the city proper and had dessert (I.e. the Greatest Pie in the History of Pie, thank you very much) before making their way to a carnival, and enjoying the various attractions it had to offer.

The date had reached its zenith as they'd ridden the Ferris wheel. They'd sat there quietly in their own personal gondola, just reveling in each other's company and the atmosphere of the night.

All at once she had broken the silence, hurriedly asking him about their friendship. Desperately she had asked for his forgiveness if she ever did something wrong. She had practically pleaded with him not to abandon her if she made a mistake.

He didn't think twice. Seeking only her happiness he had taken her hands in his and assured her he would always forgive her. He wouldn't be like the others in her life, no matter what she did or had done, he would never abandon her, he had promised. With a deep inner passion, he had sworn that nothing would ever make him hate her.

As luck would have it, something in his words had reassured her, as he had watched the look of fear on her slowly face recede into one of relief. At that moment, spurred on by some baser instinct, both of them had leaned forward, lips inches apart. It was to be the perfect end to what had been the perfect night.

That is, until Slade showed up.

The masked madman had appeared in behind the couple as if out of thin air. He had immediately set himself upon the young girl, for reasons known only to the man himself. Beast Boy, ever the loyal friend had immediately leapt to her aid, quickly morphing into the form of an ape to defend the girl.

He had done all in his power to keep the evil man away, and when he had found himself overwhelmed, Terra had come to his aid, allowing him time to escape and leveling the entirety of the Ferris wheel in their attempts to defeat the villain.

Eventually, the young couple had retreated into the House of Mirrors where Beast Boy had immediately tried to call for back-up, only to find that both of them had misplaced their communicators. It was then, when he had proposed they return to the Tower, that everything began to fall apart.

The young geomancer had begun to slowly back away from him, and before he could question her, Slade had made his reappearance. The madman began to mock the green changeling, telling him that he had been deceived, that the Terra he had known had been nothing but a lie, that she had been his spy sent to destroy the Titans, that she had only been using him, and had only spared him so she could keep him on a leash for her own amusement.

Beast Boy had refused to believe him, smashing mirror after mirror, image after image of the masked man being scattered throughout every inch of their impromptu arena. Slade was lying, he had to be! Terra was too good a person for that, he'd argued, she wouldn't betray her friends like that. She wouldn't betray _him_ like that!

But then, she'd confessed.

He stood there, in the center of that hall, hundreds of jagged shards of glass reflecting his shock as she told him of her betrayal. He had felt his chest constrict as she'd tried to explain, anger and hurt burning their way from through his core as she'd fought desperately to make him understand.

She'd clung to him, practically begging, desperate for some kind of reassurance, anything to prove that he still cared. That he didn't hate her for what she'd done. That he was still her friend. Like he'd promised he always would be.

He just didn't have it in him.

Practically tearing his arm from her grasp, he'd rejected the very idea of their friendship, coldly proclaiming "Slade's right, you don't have any friends."

With those words said, he'd stood and watched, a hate-fueled glare marring his face as she'd receded into the darkness with her new master, refusing to acknowledge anything else that might have been said.

Good Lord, he'd been a fool!

Of all the mistakes he'd ever made in his life, from the day he'd gotten his powers to the day and beyond, that was the one he'd regretted the most. He'd spent countless hours just replaying the scene in his head, hoping, wishing, _begging_ for any opportunity to go back and fix what he'd done. To try and change what had followed. It was all for naught. He had made a mistake, and the fates seemed set on making him live with it.

And he had lived with it.

He hadn't seen her again until weeks later, and it hadn't exactly been a happy reunion.

She'd tried to kill them.

Smashing the T-Car by way of ambush, she'd rode in on a small boulder, proudly wearing the armor marking her as Slade's apprentice for all the world to see.

By that point he'd realized his mistake, and had sought to make amends, practically begging for the chance to make up for how he'd hurt her.

But she was done listening.

She'd attack them mercilessly, mocking and trying to annihilate them without a single thought. A sentiment he simply couldn't return. No on the team could.

Back at the Tower, after they'd made their retreat, everyone had lamented that fact. But this wasn't just another criminal, this was _Terra._ They fought with her, joked with her, lived with her. She had been a friend, a _Titan._ To immediately forget that and treat her as an enemy would have been about as easy as severing a limb.

In fact, when Robin had ordered they do just that, Beast Boy had found himself more than a little angry at the masked Boy-Wonder, insisting that they at least give the girl the chance to come to her senses. When Robin had argued that she worked for Slade, he had gone so far as to mention Robin's time as Slade's apprentice to make his point. He had lost her once; he'd be damned if he let it happen again without a fight.

But it hadn't been enough

They hadn't managed to find her, but she had found them, and had taken great pleasure in trying to exterminate them, even as he'd pleaded with her to reconsider. The last resounding image of that day was the self-satisfied smirk she'd held as she trapped him underground, practically giddy as she left him to die.

When he'd next regrouped with the others, he knew what needed to be done.

There would be no more chances.

Hardening his heart, he would face her as he would any criminal, but not before he got the answer to a single burning question.

Why?

Why had she allowed Slade to manipulate her as he had? Why had she ever felt the need to betray them? Why let this happen, and make others suffer as she had?

As he had resurfaced into what had once been his city, now barren and overlaid with a thick and suffocating fog, he could muster no answer to his question, so he resolved to find their source, Terra herself.

Spurred on by anger and the primal need for closure, he had tracked her, moving alone as his team dealt with the army Slade had amassed in their absence, preparing himself to push through any attack and any cruelty she may rally against him in his search for answers.

He needn't have made that effort

When he managed to find her, she did not stand to meet him, as any other adversary would have. No, he found her on her knees, practically begging for death once she caught sight of him.

Concern overshadowing anger he had approached her, against his better judgment, instinct being overwritten by an overlying concern for a friend, only to be attacked yet again

She had lashed out at him, only this time against her own volition, flinging him against the far wall. Emerging from the shadows behind her was Slade, contorting her body and imposing his will over hers as if he were some dark puppet master pulling at strings; practically reveling in the agony he put her threw as he forced them to fight one another.

He remained on the defensive, unable to truly strike back at an opponent who had no desire to face him, his anger at her pushing him forward as he desperately urged her to take back control of both herself and her life.

It didn't last.

Despite his best efforts, Slade managed to trap him, maneuvering Terra's body and powers to pin him under a mass of stone, before raising another with the intention of ending his life.

As his friends burst onto the scene, attempting to dissuade her, they only had eyes for one another. The swirling voices of the other Titans faded as she had begged him, tears streaming down her face, for forgiveness for her weakness. He'd looked at her and gave a sad sigh. "It's your life Terra, your choice. It's never too late to change."

As his words sunk in she'd looked at him, and in a voice devoid of fear or deceit she'd simply said "I'm sorry Beast Boy, for everything I've done."

With that, she retook control of her body and her power, flinging the stone intended to kill him back at the masked man that had tormented and turned her on the only friends she had ever had.

Even as he dodged out of the way he was upon her, months of pent up frustration and pain pouring out of her and flowing into her powers as she buffeted him with stone upon stone until he fell out of sight, before floating down, supported by a stable section of earth. As she surveyed the point at which he had once stood, she was thrown back in surprise as he sprung up, landing a blow to her face before gripping her by her breastplate, intent on ending her life.

Before he could make another move against her, her typically blue lit up and seemed to shine with their familiar golden glow, her malice fueled glare making them appear eerily sinister. Her anger at the man reigniting her powers, her hair rose with the amount of ambient energy in the air as emphatically declared: "You can't control me anymore!"

With those words the spire of earth they'd stood on exploded with the presence of her power, melting within moments into a mass of molten lava, washing the masked madman away in a torrent of earthly flames as they cast him into those of the next world.

Her task done, she'd descended down to them and he'd dare to hope that maybe, finally, things might be okay.

Of course, that's when everything had chosen to go to Hell.

Before she could even make it all the way to them, the walls around them began to leak magma, before outright collapsing entirely.

Though she had defeated the madman, the use of her body in the underground cave had destabilized a huge and ancient volcano deep beneath Jump City, triggering an eruption.

As the other Titans retreated, and whatever remained of Slade was burned away to nothing, Beast Boy had made his way to Terra, seeing no chance of avoiding the impending catastrophe, urging her to come with them.

To his mounting horror, she simply stated, "I'm the only one who can stop it."

He had begged her not to. He'd just gotten her back damn it! They had another chance! They could finally make things right.

When he'd tried to convey this to her, saying it was too late for them do anything, she had only given him a small smile, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear before repeating what he had told her earlier "It's never too late."

With the realization that this would probably be the last chance they had to be with one another, they had embraced, the green changeling attempting to pour every ounce of love and admiration he held for the girl in his arms into that single gesture.

Nestled in his arms, tears beginning to cloud her eyes, she whispered her final words to him, the last words she would ever have the chance to say "You were the best friend I ever had."

Her words etched into his soul, they had each released the embrace before she had manipulated what solid ground that remained to allow him a chance at escape, tears still fresh tears still stinging the edges of his eyes as he left her behind, only just registering one final call of determination as he and the rest of the Titans made their escape.

And like that it had ended.

They had returned a few days later to discover that Terra had overloaded her powers in an effort to save them, effectively fusing with them to ensure their survival.

The days after that passed in a sort of haze. They'd made a plaque, held a service, and had vowed to bring her back.

The others, even Raven, had tried to comfort him, saying that what had happened had been beyond anyone's control. It had been a random act of fate or a cruel whim of the universe, and there was nothing anyone could have done.

It all fallen on deaf ears.

He knew the Truth: It was his fault.

He had killed her.

He hadn't been strong enough to pull her back in time. After all these years, all of his training and all he'd been able to do was watch as she'd died for them? Run away as she died in his place, just like the last time. Just as his parents had all those years ago.

That was what hurt the most, he realized as he reached his destination. Not that she had died. Not that he hadn't been strong enough to help her in time. No, what hurt the most was that after all of this time he'd had to stand by and let another person he loved die just so he could keep living.

The knowledge that history had repeated itself, and that he had been the cause behind it was enough to make him want to scream in both rage and sorrow until his vocal chords gave out. He hated the fact that it had happened and he hated himself for having caused it.

That's why he had come here today.

He had needed some form of closure. Something to lay their relationship and time together to rest. To let the girl know what she had meant to him, and to let her know how sorry he was. Something to help set her free.

Looking up her now stone form, he felt the familiar welling of tears in his eyes. Placing a single white rose on the pedestal that now supported her, he felt all that he had wanted say to her melt away as he saw her state.

Forcing himself up, he stared deep into her granite laden eyes, wishing to convey all of his emotion to the very soul of the girl who lay trapped within.

"I'm sorry Terra, and I love you."


End file.
